For a girl who doesn't cry

Today we're getting a bit more personal. But don't worry this won't be a rant post I promise. Two weeks ago was the first time I had actually cried in school, and that's the weirdest thing in the world for me. I'm not emotional about a lot of things, especially in front of people that I don't exactly bond with to say the least. Some things were happening in my relationship that threw me into a T-TOTAL wreck. And I thought, well I'm never gonna let that happen again. I felt completely exposed.

Today in first period, that rule about no more crying at school went out the window. For about the same reason as before, I was a bawling mess before 8:45 AM. And it wasn't soft tears, it was like a I can feel my stomach jiggling waterfall. I stayed emotionally unstable the whole entire day long. 

Like I literally turned on Say Yes to the Dress and it was the worst mistake. I had to turn it off. 

Regardless of how on display and vulnerable I felt, after the fact I realized that it was okay. Sometimes you just have to cry. I think I've never cried all that much because it felt more safe to hold it in until you explode. Now I'm not going to that that anymore, of course I'm not gonna tear up everytime I hear wedding bells but I gonna let myself let it go. And you should do the same, I'm sure you've been strong way too long too.

Xoxo

Sincerely, Erin

Late night thoughts

Here I am at 12:32 in the morning scanning the blogging world for ideas to blog about. And so many times I've done this because I can't think of anything to write cause I feel like my life isn't interesting enough for a blog and I'm probably right. I've only had a couple posts and honestly none of them gave me a heaping amount of confidence. I just wonder how people do it. How they come up with ideas and seamless plans. I understand it takes time and effort, things don't happen overnight I get it. But where do you find inspiration? Where do you find the confidence to move forward in blogging or life itself? I applaud people who run successful blogs, people whose blog IS their job. I feel like it's immensingly harder than a 9-5 that's for sure. Hopefully I'll gain some inspiration cause I love to write and even though this has been a somewhat meaningless post, I feel good having posted it. 

Have a great Wednesday! 

Sincerely, Erin