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Monday, November 10, 2014

For a girl who doesn't cry

Today we're getting a bit more personal. But don't worry this won't be a rant post I promise. Two weeks ago was the first time I had actually cried in school, and that's the weirdest thing in the world for me. I'm not emotional about a lot of things, especially in front of people that I don't exactly bond with to say the least. Some things were happening in my relationship that threw me into a T-TOTAL wreck. And I thought, well I'm never gonna let that happen again. I felt completely exposed.
Today in first period, that rule about no more crying at school went out the window. For about the same reason as before, I was a bawling mess before 8:45 AM. And it wasn't soft tears, it was like a I can feel my stomach jiggling waterfall. I stayed emotionally unstable the whole entire day long. 
Like I literally turned on Say Yes to the Dress and it was the worst mistake. I had to turn it off. 
Regardless of how on display and vulnerable I felt, after the fact I realized that it was okay. Sometimes you just have to cry. I think I've never cried all that much because it felt more safe to hold it in until you explode. Now I'm not going to that that anymore, of course I'm not gonna tear up everytime I hear wedding bells but I gonna let myself let it go. And you should do the same, I'm sure you've been strong way too long too.
Xoxo
Sincerely, Erin

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